“Did anyone get the license plate of the copywriter who just hit me?”

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is an example I created on the fly.

“We are the premier integrated supportability assessment module provider, specializing in custom configurations, enterprise level integrations and pre-configured appliance maintenance. We offer solutions to shorten sales cycles, extend existing applications and deploy a wide range of platforms all within web 2.0 compliant support modules. Fully integrated with standard retention management solutions, we can install our platform into any enterprise release schedule.”

That was pretty bad, but I don’t think I’m too far off from actual “Corporate Speech” found out in the wild.

Speaking in terms of converting, this stuff doesn’t.

I’m sure you are all familiar with KISS and WIIFM. But strangely enough, we forget them so often when writing marketing copy.

KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid!) – This is key. With my experience in consulting people on conversions, simple always wins the day. I know your target audience is smart, but simple copy resonates louder.

“Reduces costs and shortens sales cycles” can be turned into “Saves you money and brings you sales”

WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?) – This may come as a shock to some of you big companies out there, but nobody cares what you do. If your copy includes a lot of “We” then you are probably stuck in the cycle of talking about how awesome you are. Your copy should include a lot of “You” with a lot of benefits.

“You will grow your business, You will get more sales, You will outpace your competition, You will retain more customers.”

Take a hard look at your copy, be honest with yourself and have the courage to change it. The difference might mean that “You will get more conversions!”